Wow wow wow, just like that 2020 is almost upon us. Surreal, no?

I don’t think I’m alone in feeling the change and newness in the air as the new year approaches. Something about one chapter ending and another beginning forces us to slow down, reflect, and get honest with ourselves and with others. This year has been one of the most unbelievable and magical of my life. I got to see new places and travel to destinations I never even imagined existed. It was also often tough and painful, as I worked through blocks and inner demons that I never had to face head-on before. It hasn’t always been pretty, but it’s certainly been necessary.

As I enter this new decade, I feel stronger, braver, and more confident in exactly who I am than ever before. Looking back at my intentions for the year, I truly feel that I accomplished them. There are many (many, many) things I don’t have figured out yet, but I think this year has brought significant clarity to my life that will illuminate the way for me as I embark on the new adventures this decade will bring.

Before we go there, though, you all know that this blog is all about the reflection. And while I shared with you what I have deemed the main lesson of 2019 for me, I would be remiss if I didn’t do a full on year review, with more lessons, more highlights, and favorites.

So without further ado, grab yourself a mug of some quality hot chocolate (I’m currently on a mission to try all the best in NYC) or whatever you fancy, and let’s take a gander through this incredible, surprising, magical, challenging, and reflective year.

lessons learned 2019 favorite posts

Lessons Learned in 2019

Purpose is a moving target

This is one that took all of the year to sink in. I suspect it will be a continual lesson in my life. You see, I’m the kind of person who needs to feel purposeful and passionate in my daily life, or else I lose my spark. I start feeling unmotivated and lost, and then I frantically start searching for something, anything, to bring that spark back. And yet what I’ve learned is you cannot force purpose, and also, it’s okay if not every season of life feels expressly purposeful in the grander scheme of our lives.

This year, I didn’t feel as called toward the things that I had in the past expressly identified as my purpose. While I love this space and writing here, I just didn’t feel that creative spark and excitement I had in the past. I could go weeks without having any inkling of a desire to post on Instagram, and though I had many blog post ideas, it felt like a struggle to actually get those out of me and onto paper. While I was abroad, I accepted this as just part of my commitment to really live my life and not just document it. I figured, I could always dive straight back in when I was back. And yet, that old spark still hasn’t quite come back.

This has been something quite difficult to grapple with because if I’m honest, I had placed a lot of expectations on this blog to be a big part of my grand life purpose. I realize now how unfair and naive this was. I started this blog when I was 18, and though I have no intention of quitting it for the time being, I cannot say that day won’t ever come.

I don’t want to hold myself back from going after things that are more aligned with who I am in this moment just because I’m holding onto something I had envisioned when I was younger.

I guess what I’m trying to say with all this is your purpose is allowed to (and meant to) evolve with you. If this resonates, I wrote much more about this in this post. And on that same note…

Change is inevitable

In the past I’ve had a tendency to be really resistant to change. I enjoyed the comfort of the known and feeling like I had control over my circumstances. I thought that would be a surefire way to prevent myself from having to deal with pain and hardship. In reality, change is both inevitable and necessary if you want to live a truly fulfilling life. That initial discomfort that often comes with change is how you know you are making a worthwhile investment in your growth.

This year I’ve experienced a lot of change, both externally and internally. From my entire study abroad experience that was full of newness to my summer job to living in a house with my best friends in my senior year, it’s truly been a whirlwind. Not always was it comfortable to lean into all the change, but it was when I did that I rediscovered my inner fire and passion and was able to find comfort in the discomfort.

To tie it back to the previous point, I found purpose in my everyday intentional life choices, things like spending quality time with friends or applying for opportunities that I never had considered but that suddenly felt right. Had I continued to be adamantly against change, I would let all these things pass me by because they weren’t getting me closer to what I’d long ago decided was my life path. And that’s just a silly and small way to live.

Make space each day for quiet and stillness

This was one of my main intentions going into 2019, and I know this is something I desperately needed. 2018 left me feeling burnt out and in desperate need of rest and rejuvenation. I felt that I had all these things inside me that I just didn’t have time or space to sit with and process, and so I felt it all weighing on me and making me feel more and more off-kilter.

With my intention, I decided to dedicate 2019 to truly going inward and making that time just for me. I am happy to say I definitely fulfilled this intention, and it has since become a nonnegotiable in my life. No matter how crazy or stressful the external world gets, I try to always make that time to intentionally enter my inner oasis that is always peaceful and soothing. I have a regular meditation practice of 10 minutes every day (shoutout to Insight timer!) and I also deeply treasure moments that I can escape from the real world and be with my own thoughts for a bit. Sometimes it’s listening to music on my bed, and sometimes it’s a short walk around the block with no distractions. But carving out that intentional time to be with myself has truly been a game changer for me.

Travel, and especially solo travel, is one of the most beneficial and life-changing adventures you can embark on

I’ve obviously waxed poetic about this already, what with all my posts about studying abroad, but it’s truly been everything I dreamed it would be and more. I have always loved travel, but I think this year confirmed more than ever before how necessary it is for me to feel alive and lit up.

Here are some of my favorite posts from my time abroad.

Study Abroad Adventures: What I Learned and How I’ve Changed

The Most Important Lesson of Study Abroad

Why I Highly Recommend Solo Travel

I also had the absolute best time on my solo trip to Columbus, which I recapped in this post.

I hope, and trust, that next year will bring more incredible travel adventures.

Letting yourself feel your emotions is the only way to work through them and let them go

As I wrote in this recent post about my biggest lesson from 2019, feeling your feelings is imperative to being whole and living a satisfying life. Joy is not always the answer. Sometimes what we need is to put on a playlist of sad songs, wrap ourselves in a fleece blanket, and just have a good cry. And it doesn’t make us weak or powerless. Letting myself feel the full spectrum of my feelings allowed me to process them and also practice some epic self-compassion.

On the other side of the coin, this has also allowed me to experience some truly incredible moments fully and wholly, so that I did not later look back with nostalgia or regret about not having fully enjoyed myself in the moment. Allow yourself to fully feel your feelings, good and bad, and you will find that numbness and avoidance doesn’t hold a torch to the feeling of aliveness and presence.

The people you surround yourself with should all love and support you for exactly who you are, and inspire you to be better

I am so unbelievably grateful for my friends. They are some of the best humans, and I feel so lucky to have people that really truly know me and love me for who I am. I don’t think I could have gone through as much growth and change if not for them.

This year I have lost some friendships I hadn’t really expected to lose. Which…was tough. I wish I could say I always handled it gracefully, but there was certainly anger and self-blame and obsessing over what I might have done wrong or could have done differently. Ultimately, after the dust settled, though, I felt grateful. Because at the end of the day, friendships change. People change. Of course we can’t hold onto all relationships forever, and I trust that we each brought something good to each other’s lives and are now ready to go our separate ways. And that’s okay.

I also gained new friendships that have brought endless joy and light into my life. I am so grateful for the beautiful people I met while I was abroad and that we have actually been able to maintain our friendship even from separate states (and countries!). I’m grateful for the friendships that have developed through Instagram and became true real-life friendships. I know they say college is peak friendship-making time, but you know, I’m pretty hopeful for the future. There’s some seriously amazing people out there, and when you’re being fully authentically you, they have no choice but to find you. 🙂

The right people, opportunities, and situations will enter your life without you having to force it. Relax and allow

Yes yes and yes. You guys know I talk about this a lot. Forcing and efforting may get you some results in the short run, but you are shortchanging yourself when you are constantly trying to control the events of your life. It’s only when I fully accepted this and loosened the reins I so tightly gripped in so many facets of my life that I was able to have experiences I never ever could have even imagined. It feels scary at first, to surrender totally and just trust that things will work out in the right way, but I’m telling you, once you see how beautifully things unfold when we live this way, you won’t ever be able to go back.

Plus, life is just so much more fun when you let it be.

Top Favorites

These are things you might have seen on some of my Currently Loving posts, but all of these have claimed a substantial piece of my heart over this year. 😀

Study Abroad

Special shout-outs go to Edinburgh, my home base for the semester and literally the real-life Harry Potter world; England, which I’ve always felt a soul connection with; Portugal, which was a country that most surprised me and that I absolutely fell in love with; and Seville, Spain which was the most darling city and a solo trip I will remember forever.

This will forever be a chapter in my life that I cherish and am infinitely grateful for. <3

Four Sigmatic

For some context, when I was in Edinburgh, I was missing my Four Sigmatic hot cocoa so much (I only took one box with me and despite my trying to make it last, it was gone in less than a month). With a few days before my 21st birthday, I decided to give myself the gift of joy and ordered $100 worth of hot cocoa. It ended up lasting me the entire time abroad, and it was the best. decision. ever. Even if it made me feel slightly insane. 😀

The Office

This show has been such a source of joy for me in the second half of the year. Though it’s probably at least my third time watching it through, it’s been quite a while since a full run-through, and I have forgotten how much I love it. This show has made me laugh and lifted my mood on some of the hardest days, and affirmed once again that laughter is truly the best medicine. Also, I definitely got a lot of emotion out when I cried at every romantic scene in the show because I’m a total softie. :p

The Lively Show

I’ve talked quite a bit about this podcast, and it will probably always be one of my top favorites. While I haven’t listened to it too much in the second half of the year, I probably listened to hours of it every single day abroad. I have gone through almost every single episode of the show, and Jess became like a close friend and my personal cheerleader in my ears. She’s a fantastic teacher of spiritual ideas for those who are just dipping their toes in, or for those who are more advanced. She is also just very relatable and honest with her own experiences, even the ones that are absolutely crazy. Keeping up with her incredible life has been a true source of joy for me, and yes, one of my dreams is to meet her and talk about all the woo woo things. 🙂

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

Ah, my favorite book that I swear I was guided toward for months and months (I kept seeing it EVERYWHERE all of a sudden). I finally read it in February while abroad, and then I read it again in April when I was traveling in Andalusia, Spain where the book is set (I may or may not have planned a trip there just because of this book).

I do not believe this book is necessarily for everyone, or rather, I don’t think everyone will get the same things out of it. But for me, personally, it was life-changing. I don’t think I ever read a book that resonated with every part of my soul like this one did. If you feel any pull to read it, I definitely recommend.

Yoga

I have a blog post for early 2020 where I talk more about how much yoga has transformed my relationship with both my body and mind. But for now, let me just say, this was the year that I fell in love with yoga more deeply than ever before.

In the past, yoga was just another workout option for me, but it has since become something I turn to when I need a respite or a reminder to surrender and trust. My mat is a place of total safety and peace, where I can turn off the sometimes incessant noise in my brain and just be with my breath and my body.

Yoga has made me appreciate what my body can do and how powerful and strong it is much more than intense weightlifting or hiit ever had. It also helps me get in touch with my softer feminine side that for so many years I rejected.

There is this amazing feeling when your breath and body are synced in total unison and you are able to completely get out of your head. Unlike some workouts where challenging moves result in trying to get more into your head so you can think think about something else to help yourself through it, yoga encourages me to really get comfortable in the discomfort and just be there fully and totally present. That’s a metaphor for the lessons of this year, if there ever was one. 🙂

The Four Hour Work Week by Timothy Ferriss

I DEVOURED this book while on my solo trip to Columbus, and it felt like precisely the right timing for me to read it. I love when books enter our lives at the perfect moment. I think this is one I will read again and again, but I’m glad I read it for the first time while I am still in school. I think it just opens a window into kind of an alternative way to look at “the real world” and reading it left me feeling super excited and jazzed up.

If you’re someone who feels unsatisfied with the idea that life is meant to be 40 years of 9 to 5 days in corporate jobs, until you finally get to live your real life in retirement, then definitely give this book a shot. It just might blow your mind.

Columbus

This trip was really important to me. For one thing, it was my first solo trip in the U.S. and involved going to a pretty amazing wellness/blogging/podcasting event. It made me feel kinda like a boss to be there by myself, and I’ve also been wanting to visit Columbus for years now. I’m proud of myself that I just went and made it happen. Here’s to more of this kind of aligned action and doing what feels right without overthinking too much in the new year.

Thank you for following along on this journey with me through the year, my friends!

2019 was beautiful and magical and challenging and trying. It was a truly monumental year and one that I am infinitely grateful for. I am so excited to see what 2020 will bring. <3

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2019 in Review: Lessons, Top Posts, and Favorites