I’m not quite sure how this post is going to go. To be honest, I haven’t worded it too much in my head, but I just knew I wanted to write it. I’ve noticed that oftentimes, the best posts are the ones that flow out of me as if by a force outside of me, and so perhaps that is what is happening here.
So hello. This was the longest break I have taken on the blog yet, and it’s been a pretty interesting experience.
I say interesting because though much of that time off was not really a choice and was simply due to the large amount of responsibilities I was balancing especially in the past month, this would have totally beat me up earlier in the year. I would have felt guilty, ashamed, unworthy… I would have felt like I wasn’t doing enough, wasn’t being enough, wasn’t enough just because I couldn’t find the time to do it all. I would berate myself for letting my personal project fall to the wayside and then compare myself to those who seem to be juggling 5 different things effortlessly. Though I always talk about how comparison is the thief of joy, and we are all enough exactly as we are, and I truly do believe that deep down, I had a hard time really walking that walk even earlier this year.
Flash forward to now, as I sit here writing after more than 3 weeks away. I feel so at peace and just excited to be back in this space. There is no guilt or shame about the fact that I wasn’t able do it all. There is just the feeling of relief that that crazy season is almost over, but also a sense of deep gratitude because though these last few months were challenging, they were also wildly transformative and joyful. I truly feel changed.
I think one of the biggest things for me in this challenging semester was finding a balance between hard intense work and inner light, and realizing that those don’t have to be at odds with each other.
I will talk more in future posts about the lessons I’ve learned this past year, because there are PLENTY, but I just wanted to bop in here for a quick hi and a see you super soon. I’m still processing everything that’s come up recently, but I promise to keep you in the loop. For now, I need to finish off this semester and then hopefully put all my pent-up creative energy into this space come winter break.
I love you all, and I hope you’re being present and joyful in your current moment, exactly as it is.
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