I’ve already shared a couple posts of this style, where I just tell you guys what’s been bringing me joy in the past weeks. I figured I’d start this new series, since I’m really enjoying sharing these little moments with you, and it encourages me to look back and really notice what lifted me up from week to week.
For me, in quarantine, it sometimes feels like all the days meld together. It’s easy to let them just pass by and never pause to consider what worked and what didn’t. I know particularly in the first couple weeks of the stay-at-home order, I really felt like I was just going through the motions. I knew I had moments when I felt glimmers of joy and light, and then moments of heaviness and discontent, but I didn’t really take inventory to see why that would be. In other words, I felt a bit like I was being tossed around in an ocean, with no control over whether that day would bring calm waters or a raging storm. And honestly, I felt too tired to even consider fighting back.
It took me some time, but I slowly started to realize that I don’t need to limply succumb to the whims of the water, nor do I need to put all my energy into putting up a fight against something I can never hope to control. Instead, I can…ride the waves.
I’m slowly realizing it’s not about stuffing away every negative feeling and turning yourself into a walking rainbow. It’s about taking the necessary steps to keep yourself afloat while also having a degree of humility and trust. Trust that you can let go and surrender to the tides, and the water will not swallow you whole. Trust that you can learn to ride the waves, and that even if you’ll fall, you will always rise and get back up again. Choosing to trust and surrender is a challenge, but it’s one of the only ways to access the strength within.
And now here’s my moments of joy from this past week. 🙂
Mother’s Day
This day was honestly one of my favorite days of quarantine. It was just full of so much love and joy, and I had just submitted my last assignment, so I was fully enjoying the sweetness of freedom. For the first time, there wasn’t really anything on my agenda, and so I was able to flow with the day, shower my mom with all the love, and just do what felt good.
So I did an hour-long meditation and journaling session, had a lovely brunch with my mama that she insisted on making, then cleaned the house (which was weirdly enjoyable), and then spontaneously decided to give my dog a much-needed furcut all by myself. I think I did an alright job, but she’s lucky she’s naturally cute is all I will say LOL.
And then my mom and I went on a lovely 2 hour walk, and we ended up working through these TableTopics cards that I’d given her as a gift a couple Mother’s Days ago and had the best conversation.
When we came home, I whipped up this delicious pasta recipe that just so happens to be my mom’s favorite. We enjoyed that with some red wine and with “Julie & Julia,” which I haven’t seen since middle school, and it was the perfect feel-good movie. I adore movies, and usually watch at least one a week, but I haven’t been able to watch one in quite some time due to finals. And this one was just the perfect accompaniment to a fancy pasta dinner, and a lovely end to the day 🙂
Finishing my last final
Wow, I can’t believe I’m done. As of Sunday morning at 5:30am (yes, I spent all night writing), I am officially done with college. The assignment was also the perfect capstone; it was a paper for my Neurophilosophy class that was all about quantum physics and consciousness and changing your life by changing your brain through conscious intentions and visualization. Oh, and I titled it with the amazing Harry Potter quote, “Of course it is happening inside your head, but why on earth should that mean it is not real?” I mean, could you have a more Nicole end to college? 😀
For some reason, the process of writing this paper, though I was absolutely exhausted and just wanted to give up and go to bed multiple times throughout, was really joyful for me. My boyfriend stayed with me over FaceTime for much of the first half of the night, and my mom also came to hang out on my bed at one point when she couldn’t sleep. The support was just the push I needed, and I felt really grateful and loved.
Eventually, though, it was just me. Sitting in the quiet and stillness, my mind tired yet clear, I watched as the night slowly turned to morning. And as the sky turned from inky black to an iridescent blue and the first rays of sun began peaking through, I wrote the very last words of my very last assignment, and there was something magical about the moment. And I just felt really grateful and present and…free.
Meditation & Journaling
This has been bringing me so much joy and peace the last few days. I love starting my day with a 10 minute meditation, but lately I’ve been treating myself to even longer ones. Normally, I just set a 10-minute timer and do my own thing, but I have really been loving guided meditations. I recently discovered that MNDFL does free Instagram Live guided meditations that are just so wonderful. (Honestly, all the free offerings available to us all right now might just be a silver lining of quarantine).
Starting my day with that helps me feel clear and connected, instead of instantly frazzled and anxious like I did when I started the day by looking at my phone or the news right away.
And journaling has felt particularly good when my mind feels jumbled, or when I know I’m numbing out of feeling certain things. Sometimes getting it all out on paper is exactly what I need to shine light on the shadows.
Long walks with just my dog and my thoughts
I mentioned this in a previous post, and this still brings me a lot of joy. It also just felt like exactly what I needed when my days were spent staring into my computer and pounding out assignment after assignment. Felt good to just empty my mind and enjoy the sunshine on my (masked) face.
And that’s all for today. I hope reading this brought ya a little joy, and maybe inspired you to take stock of your own joyful moments of late. And if you feel like it, leave me a comment sharing some of those! 🙂
All the love. Talk soon. <3
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