If You Keep Wishing You Could Speed Through Time, Read This

I’ve gone through many periods over the last few months where I felt like I couldn’t be where I was for one more second. You know that feeling? Where every fiber of your being just wants to be somewhere else, to be experiencing something else, than what your current reality is and you find yourself constantly fighting against where you’re at.

I’ve realized over time that resistance is never the answer. It only made me more exhausted, dug me deeper into the dark places I longed to escape from. I think it was necessary to stay there for a while (we can’t always be flying high and “seeing the good” in everything.) But there came a moment when I had a choice. Keep feeling sorry for myself and wishing for things that are impossible right now, OR… lean in. 

This is me gently offering some advice to choose the latter.

Lean into the discomfort. Allow yourself to really fully be there, feeling all of it, all the crushing emotions that feel so scary when you’re running from them. The thing is, they’re never as scary or uncomfortable as they appear to be when you’re resisting them from a distance. So let go and lean in.

And if you’re like okay, yeah, but how the heck do I do that? Start by asking yourself these three questions:

1. What is this time showing me? What opportunity is it bringing me?

Another way of looking at this one is, how can I come out of this better? When I say that, I don’t necessarily mean taking classes or starting a new fitness routine or diving into personal growth literature. I mean, what changes can you start making now to ensure that you are moving toward your truest, most beautiful life? The one that truly reflects who you are at this moment and that is paving the way for who you want to be.

Perhaps this period is uncovering aspects of your self where work still needs to be done. Maybe it is shining a light on the shadow parts of you that you were able to ignore or push away for years. This is uncomfortable – sometimes it feels like it would’ve just been better to stay in the dark and keep living blissfully unaware – but it’s such a necessary process in the journey toward your truth and your highest self. 

What if you could look at this time as a fantastic chance to spend more time going inward, to take inventory of all the things, habits, and people in your life and figure out what is serving you and what isn’t anymore? All seasons, but particularly the challenging ones, offer an opportunity and a choice. You can take that opportunity for growth and betterment, or you can leave it. But just know that ignoring the lesson is only delaying that eventual day when you will inevitably have to face it again.

Life has a way of putting us in situations that are just similar enough to keep teaching us the same lesson; if we refuse to learn it the first time, it will just keep coming back around until it sinks in. So take an honest look at what is working in your life and what isn’t, and try to find the courage within to let go of the latter and make room for more magic.

2. What can I appreciate in this time? What will I miss when it’s over?

So many times we get so caught up on that elusive dream of what we want our reality to be that we don’t notice the wonderful gifts of the present moment. The most ironic thing is that more often than not, you’ll find that many of the things you are dreaming about are actually happening for you RIGHT NOW, albeit possibly in a different form than what you were envisioning. 

It’s so easy and common to develop tunnel vision when thinking about certain goals or desires we have, which makes it that much harder to notice that our dreams are coming into form right in front of our eyes, and we just need to take off the blinders and look more closely.

Notice and appreciate the small things that bring you joy day to day, and the bigger things that you maybe wished for in the past and are now yours. Extra time with family, more time and space for doing things you never had time for before, rekindled connections and friendships…

And if you’re thinking that there is literally NOTHING to appreciate because things just SUCK right now and you just can’t see the silver lining, that is okay. Give yourself so much grace and compassion and know that things won’t always be like this and that you are SO DAMN STRONG.

Accept this as your current truth, and move on to question 3.

3. How can I be here now?

If you feel there is nothing to appreciate, ask how you can be more present. Oftentimes we use things like TV, podcasts, and mindless social media to escape the present moment because we are scared of feeling something tough. Of course, there is nothing at all wrong with any of those things, particularly if they bring you joy, but I would urge you to notice your patterns and ask yourself if certain habits are serving you.

For a long time, I couldn’t take a walk by myself without turning on a podcast. In fact, I couldn’t be ALONE with myself unless I had something playing in the background. Once I noticed that, I had to be very honest with myself and recognize that I was terrified of the silence of solitude. I was scared of all the things I thought would bubble up in the stillness that I wouldn’t know what to do with.

And at first, it was definitely uncomfortable. It was like suddenly having your security blanket yanked away from you and being left all alone in the dark. But over time, I began to realize there wasn’t really anything to be scared of here. I was safe, and I felt more connected to this truth and to myself than ever. I began to find comfort in the internal rather than the external and finally realized that everything I need to feel safe and whole is actually right inside me. As long as I can stay connected to it, I am always okay. When we preemptively decide that it is better to check out of the present moment, we are shortchanging ourselves by forgetting the power and strength we always yield within. 

So try finding the peace and solace in solitude. Alone doesn’t have to mean lonely, but even lonely has its gifts. See if you can find pockets of silence in your day and resist the urge to instantly fill them. Instead, tune in. And be here now. <3

Have you been dreaming of skipping ahead to “better days” in the future? Or are you more prone to living in the past? What’s hardest about being in the now for you?

I’d love to hear if you found this helpful. Drop me a comment or shoot me an email; I love hearing from you.

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