With mere days remaining between me and sophomore year, I’ve been doing a lot of ruminating about my freshman year experience at Georgetown.

The word I would use to describe my freshman year is… “rollercoaster.” It was a mess of heartbreak, loneliness, passion, perseverance, growth, and gratitude.

It wasn’t an easy year by any means, but it was perhaps one of the most transformative and most impactful years of my life.

And though I am quite glad to say I will never again be a freshman, and am excited to be entering this year feeling at least a little more established and less lost than last year, I know that there are millions of students who are about to embark on their freshman year. To those of you who are, I just want to say, buckle your seat belts and hang on because it’s gonna be a WILD ride.

I wanted to take this opportunity to look back on my year and zero in on what I wish somebody had told me before I started. Maybe it will resonate with some of you who’ve been there, or maybe it will be helpful to those of you just starting out.

Just remember, that my story is only my own, and my struggles are not necessarily your struggles. What I want you to glean from this is that freshman year is a doozy for almost every student, and even on days when you feel most alone and most misunderstood, there is always someone out there who feels the exact same way. You are never ever alone.

It’ll Be Nothing Like What You Expect

I think this is a good thing to keep in mind because I know that any of you who are about to enter college probably have expectations galore.

No matter what it is you’re imagining, it’s most likely entirely off.

There’s what you see in movies like American Pie, where life at college is basically one big drunk-fest, and you hang out with your friends every single day in one big cuddle pile on the floor eating pizza and drinking beer.

And then there’s reality, which more often than not, doesn’t quite look like that.

A lot depends on where you go to school, but most schools aren’t what the movies portray. College is not endless fun with zero responsibilities.

None of those movies show you that you need to do your own laundry, or buy your own groceries, or cook for yourself when the dining hall options are about as appealing as a vat of slime.

Remember that college is a time of independence and fun, but it’s also the first time you have to learn to fend for yourself and be responsible.

You’ll Make Friends, But Not All At Once

I think when I first arrived at college, I had this expectation that I would become best friends with my roommate and everyone on my floor and have this booming social life where I was basically hanging out with different people every day.

Reality?

I got so so lucky with my roommate, and we became super close (seriously, she was my rock the entire year), but we didn’t really become friends with our floormates.

I met many people through clubs but with most people I met, it just wasn’t a right fit.

I think what I didn’t realize is that true friends are rare; finding a person who vibes with you and who gets you and wants to know you is a huge miracle! So of course it makes sense that you can’t be thrust into a new environment and instantly just pick up friends left and right.

And the people who seem like they do just that? Chances are, those friendships are very surface-level and won’t live until the next year. Which brings me to my next point…

Comparison Is The Thief Of Joy

I technically always knew this but it really hit me hard in college. I’m not someone who likes to compare myself. I pride myself on my individuality and unique outlook on life so when those thoughts would enter my mind— “how does she have so many friends?” “I wish I was able to find romance that easily” “their weekends seem so much more fun than mine” — I felt disappointed in myself.

I had to keep reminding myself not to look into people’s windows and to remember that things are not always as they appear. And even if they are, and if those people do have more friends than I do, or do have a more eventful love life, or whatever, we are all on our own journey.

We are exactly where we need to be at this moment, and it’s fruitless to try to keep up with others because they are not you. Trust the process, and remember that everything will work itself out as long as you stay true to yourself.

You Won’t Remain Friends With All Your Old High School Friends

I knew this going in, but I of course didn’t know which of my friends would become a distant memory, and who would keep being an integral part of my life. I think college is the best indicator of who is meant to be in your life going forward.

The friends you actively make time for, to Skype, to visit them, to shoot them a text or even tag them in a Facebook post, those are the friendships that really matter to you and are the ones worth investing your time into.

Don’t worry too much about trying to keep up all of your friendships; it’s just not realistic. Remember to make time for the friends you want to make time for and show them that though you may be living it up in college, you still need them just as much.

P.S. The summer after freshman year will be a great test too. Out of all the “we should hang out’s,” only a handful will actually pan out.

Losing friends is always painful but just remember that those people served their purpose in your life, and now it’s time to find others who are better suited to this stage of your life.

You Will Feel Uncomfortable

You are thrust into an entirely new situation, an entirely new place, where you are forced to literally build a life for yourself out of nothing. Your entire support network, your family, your friends, everyone is miles and miles away.

So if you’re feeling uncomfortable, congratulations, you’re human!

I’m sure you’ve heard before that all the magic happens outside your comfort zone.

No one has ever grown or made thrilling self-discoveries by staying stagnant. I think straying from your comfort zone is an unbelievably important and exhilarating part of life, which everyone should experience.

It’s those moments that you feel the discomfort, and then make the choice to push through it, and figure out how to ease it, that the change truly happens.

So dare to step outside your circle of comfort, and I promise you’ll find something magical on the other side.

You Will Learn New Things About Yourself Every Day

Talking to my friends, it seems self-discovery is a HUGE theme of freshman year for almost everyone. Many of them, when describing the year and its impact on their lives, said they feel like they know themselves much better now.

I’ve always considered myself pretty self-aware and insightful about who I am and what makes me tick, but college made me reach a whole new level of understanding. It felt that every day, I was discovering something new.

To be honest, this was probably my favorite aspect of college and what I think one of the main points of it is.

I truly believe that the majority of the learning you will do in college happens outside of the classroom.

Journaling Is Everything

I throw this one here, knowing full well this won’t resonate with everyone. But I am a huge journaling fanatic, and I honestly believe college made me even more passionate about and grateful to journaling.

Through journaling my feelings, I was able to better understand my emotions and make sense of some difficult situations. Writing it out made it feel more manageable, and I felt that I had much more of a grasp on everything after it was down on paper.

Plus journaling about certain experiences ensured that I wouldn’t ever forget some truly magical days, and when the going got tough, I had those entries to look back on to remind myself that everything wasn’t as tragic as it felt in the moment.

If you need a little bit of an extra push to start journaling, or want to read more about it, check out this post or this one.

It’s Okay to Take Time For Yourself

I’m a strong believer in the fact that everyone needs alone time, at least sometimes. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not just introverts who benefit from time to themselves. We all need to be alone at times to really tune in, to think, and to discover. You can’t grow and learn when you’re constantly surrounded by background noise.

At college, it can sometimes feel like the thing to do is to hang out. All the time. That if you’re having a night in by yourself, you’re doing something wrong.

Trust me, this is all in your head. Everyone will have a night off at some point, and there is nothing wrong with that. The world will not stop turning because you stayed home on Friday night.

So if you really don’t feel like hanging out, be honest with your friends. If they’re truly your friends, they’ll understand. Give yourself the freedom to do what YOU need, to drown out the little voice that reminds you about the opinions of others, and just focus on you. It’s your life, and you know better than anyone else what you need.

A final thought…

Screw that “shoulds” and endless worrying about what people will think. There is no such thing as the perfect college experience. College is what YOU make of it, and it should vary from person to person because we all have different priorities and personalities.

At the end of the day, your time at college is supposed to help mold you into the person you will become, teaching you valuable lessons, and showing you who or what is really important in your life.

College is not about who can do a keg stand for the longest time or party the most days in a row; or at least, it doesn’t have to be about that for everyone.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to “live it up” in college and do the whole ‘college’ thing…as long as you’re doing it for YOU, and not to fit in with a certain crowd.

Remember, you’re in college, not middle school. If you don’t fit in with some people, there are literally a thousand other options, and I promise you there are people who will love and accept you for who YOU are, no pretending required.

You can’t grow and evolve if you’re too busy caring about what everyone around you will think, so do your best to tune into your inner voice and trust that it won’t lead you astray.

As long as you stay true to yourself, you’ll find that all the right opportunities and people will present themselves to you, and all you need to do is be brave enough to reach for them.

If you’re a rising freshman, I wish you a magical and unforgettable year. And if you’re not, I hope you can still use these tips in your daily life because we can all benefit from being a little more brave, vulnerable, and reflective.

In true Nicole fashion, I’m gonna quote Friends here and say, “Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You’re gonna love it.” :p

 

Would you like more advice on navigating college? Want me to talk more about my personal freshman year experience? Leave me a comment, and let me know!

Or just tell me something about your college experience or any thoughts this post triggered for you.

Love you all!

 

Linking up with Amanda for Thinking Out Loud.