If you follow me on Instagram, you’ll know I’m not the best at it. I don’t post on a consistent basis; I don’t always make sure my grid looks put-together, and I repeat outfits relatively often. Because…life?
When I first started this blog (and the Instagram) I was so ready to dive deep. I bought books about it, I spent hours perfecting my editing, I would style the perfect smoothie bowl photo until it was all thin and gross. You guys, I would eat my pancakes COLD because I took that long to get the “perfect shot.”
And then I would reach phases of being totally disinterested. In fact, it was almost a rebellious desire to NOT post for as long as I could. A test of sorts to see how long I could resist.
Invariably, I would always get that pull to post again because some creative inspiration would strike. I’d think this time I was back in for the long haul, but in just a few days, the desire was gone again. Now I’m someone who has a very strong sense of will, and who isn’t usually stopped by “I don’t feel like it.”
But with Instagram, it’s different. It’s complicated. Because the last thing I ever want that account to become is fake and curated and perfect, when I’m there behind the scenes feeling like shit about it.
I want to write thoughtful captions about things that are actually meaningful to me, and when I feel inspired to do so, not just because it’s what I need to do every day.
I don’t want to spend every day worrying about doing something photogenic or always having to take a picture of a meal I’m having only to later share it. Because when I do that, I’m no longer fully present, no longer in the moment.
I’d thought abroad would be the time for my Instagram to explode. I would have so much more time, so many beautiful sights to photograph, so much COFFEE. And yet, I think the account had never been quieter.
Oh I still posted but only when I felt inspired to. Most of time time, I was much more interested in actually getting out and LIVING than documenting. And for the first time, I felt zero guilt over it. Because posting just to post feels disingenuous to me. And because that account is not my job or my top priority, I think there’s never any need for me to sacrifice authenticity for consistency.
I’ve been going on Instagram way less lately, actually heeding my phone’s 20 minute social media limit reminders instead of scrolling them away like bothersome flies. And you know what’s super ironic?
Stepping away from all that constant content, and taking away my own pressure on myself to keep up a consistent posting schedule, has done WONDERS for my creativity. I’ve been writing so much more; I have tons of blog posts pouring out of me like waterfalls, and the funniest thing is I actually feel inspired to post Instagram content more than ever before. Because it feels REAL, and it’s telling my story in the hopes that it will resonate or help some of you, and not just because I’m holding myself to some arbitrary guidelines. It’s posting not because I HAVE to but because I WANT to. I know not everyone in the modern influencer era has that luxury, but I think we can all do with taking a long honest look at our relationship with this app and maybe stepping away for a little while to figure out what it means to us.
At the end of the day, it’s an app that could disappear tomorrow. It’s not our life, not our relationships, and not our purpose.
Imagine if we didn’t feel the need to “Engage” but commented on others’ photos because they actually really spoke to us and we wanted to let the person know.
Imagine if instead of scrolling endlessly through Instagram whenever you have an idle moment, you would lift your head up and notice the life you’re missing that’s right in front of you. And the secret is you’ll find infinitely more inspiration out in the real world than by scrolling endlessly through Instagram. Inspiration that you can then use to craft genuine, meaningful, and thoughtful content that the app sometimes sorely lacks.
Imagine if we all posted from a place of inspiration and creativity, instead of pressure or necessity.
All that being said, I have absolutely no intention of deleting my account anytime soon. I’ve met some truly wonderful people through Instagram, and I love following the carefully selected accounts I do follow. It also remains a creative outlet for me when I am inspired to use it. But I’m done putting pressure on myself to be a “good Instagrammer.” There’s nothing at all wrong with this app, but I don’t want it to ever become the center of my universe.
So if I ever do start posting daily, I hope it will be not because I feel I should, but because I genuinely feel inspired to.
Thank you so much for reading, and please feel free to follow my very imperfect Instagram account if you feel called to do so 🙂
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