Slowing Down, Getting Sick & Girls Night

The past few days, I’ve disconnected more than I have in weeks. I was present. I went outside for walks with no desire to listen to music or podcasts, but just to enjoy the outdoors, the wind against my skin, and the mental clarity that would enter when I’d let my guard down.

At first I was hoping to get some monumental epiphany on one of these walks, some kind of crazy idea or inspiration. Instead, I mostly just thought about nothing at first. My mind was relatively still and before I knew it, an hour had passed and I was outside my front door again.

These meditative walks used to feel like total wastes of time to me. Like why would I not be listening to podcasts or music or talking to someone if I wasn’t even thinking intelligent thoughts?

But slowly as I kept on with these walks, where I had only my dog for company, my mind began to wander. And it was the most lovely feeling. It was a feeling of such ease and wonder and freedom, exactly what I’d been craving through every stressful day at Georgetown. Except now I actually had the time and space for it.

It was so stinking simple. I kicked myself for not realizing it sooner, for spending so many moments cluttering my mind with noise and distraction.

Don’t get me wrong, I adore my podcasts and I love the feeling of turning on a song and having it perfectly fit my mood, but I’d forgotten how dang good it feels to just think. To daydream. Apart from those fleeting moments before I fall asleep at night, I can’t remember the last time I gave myself this chance last.

The magical thing is I’ve been infinitely more creative. I’ve been feeling lighter, more carefree, just happier. I have ideas for blog posts or projects grab hold of me and I have to run to a notebook or to my phone to hastily jot it down before it evades me again.

At the same time, I’m embracing doing less (but that’s a story for a future post). I still have so many goals this summer, but I’ll be changing my game plan for achieving them. Working smarter, not harder. Because to be perfectly honest, I’m kind of tired.

I’m tired of efforting my way through everything, of always making myself busy in the hope that everything will come faster to me that way. Because it doesn’t work like that, not at all.

I’ve talked before about the importance of doing nothing. It seems this is a lesson I never stop learning.

What brought all this on, you ask?

I got sick last week. Like in bed with fever not really moving much except to blow my nose or go to the bathroom. I haven’t been that sick in quite a while, and I definitely don’t usually get sick in the summer, so it felt like a wake up call.

Being sick and therefore not really being able to do any kind of “work” meant I had to embrace lying in bed reading, or else binge-watching Big Bang Theory while enveloped in my blanket burrito-style. And embrace it I did.

It felt so good to not “have” to do anything, to not have to go through and check off the infinite items on my to-do list that only keeps growing. It felt good to just relax and do absolutely nothing. Because I was sick but also because it’s summer, and I’m 20, and I’ve worked really damn hard this year.

And when I felt better, I realized I feel calmer and more centered than I have in weeks. Months, maybe.

Giving myself this permission to relax more felt like finally finding this missing piece I’d been searching for in my mountain of tasks. And I realized I don’t need permission; I don’t need to be sick in order to give myself a break. The world will not end if I don’t do anything productive the entire day, or even *gasp* the entire week. It will all be okay.

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In other news, I hosted a good ol’ fashioned GIRLZ NIGHT for my two best friends, and it was everything I could have dreamed for. I invited the girls a bit before dinner time, and I prepared an appetizer plate to keep anyone from getting hangry while I worked on the main course.

I made this guacamole, which was SO GOOD. I honestly might never get store-bought guac again; this was so easy and delicious. I served it with Trader Joe’s corn dippers (I really don’t like chips, but love these) and some baby carrots and snow peas.

While I worked on the main event, I snagged chips and guac, and we all tried not to choke from laughing so hard.

I made this rosè pasta, which was delightful. I don’t remember the last time I made an absolutely normal, real pasta dish (no whole wheat, spelt, almond coconut shenanigans this time). I served it with a spinach salad with strawberries, goat cheese, and pecans. The dressing was olive oil, balsamic vinegar, maple syrup, dijon, garlic, salt, and pepper. Such a great combo!

After licking our plates clean and drinking a few sneaky glasses of rosè and some more laughing fits, we transitioned to the living room for the Girlz Night movie of the evening, which was Definitely, Maybe. Such a sweet one; we all loved it.

Next up was dessert. I made one of my favorite recipes, which is this peach crisp and served it with this most delicious ice cream. Yum!!!

And then we proceeded to lie on the couch and talk until 5:30am. Nope, totally not joking, 5:30. It was a wonder we went to bed at all. But we covered all the topics one might expect on a typical girls’ night. I won’t divulge anything, but I’m sure you can imagine 😉

Oooh, and in case you want access to my Girlz Night playlist because it was pretty fetching, if I do say so myself, here it is! 😉

 

And that’s all for me. Hope you enjoyed this slightly all-over-the-place Week in Review (thanks, Meg!) Have a lovely Monday!

 

Do you ever have trouble slowing down and relaxing?

Ever seen Definitely, Maybe?