It’s been an…interesting few weeks. Ever since school let out, I’ve honestly vacillated between all kinds of emotions. Confusion, fear, anger, sadness, joy, love, lightheartedness, and so much more. Sometimes all in one day. Sometimes all at once.

I talked a bit about how right after school let out, I was feeling a bit like I’d been dropped in the middle of a field after being asleep in a car for hours. Like I’m suddenly forced to wake up and go, but I’ve forgotten how.

Going on my trip to Chicago was the first step to getting realigned. I had been craving a new place, a chance to focus on something exciting and beautiful totally outside of myself. I trusted that at some point, as I was focusing on anything but what was bothering me so much, as I prioritized rest and relaxation and family time, the answers I was so desperately searching for would come.

And though I did not return having it all figured out, I felt much more centered after the trip. Mostly I felt that it was okay that I didn’t have all the answers yet and that all I could do was continue to do what feels right.

If you are thoroughly confused, I don’t blame you. Welcome to my  brain.

To clarify a bit, I am currently without a job for the summer. I had a bunch of personal projects I wanted to do this summer, but I felt like I lost sight of most of them in the bustle of this crazy semester. Now that I’m back, I know I still want to do all those things, but now I am not sure how exactly to make it happen. Especially because a lot of them were contingent on me actually having some sort of income.

I don’t want to talk too much yet about the specifics of what I plan on doing, mostly because I’m still in the process of figuring it out, but I do want to share with you what has been helpful so far and what I am planning on doing going forward.

Visualization, Meditation, and Journaling

I started this new practice, kind of out of nowhere because it just felt right. I did a long session a few days ago and have continued to do it every morning since.

Here’s my personal process. I lie comfortably either on my yoga mat or in my bed, and first relax my entire body from my toes to the top of my head. Then I do some deep breaths, focusing on nothing but breathing. Then I let my mind wander to all the hopes and dreams I never allow myself to contemplate. I let myself go really crazy, dreaming BIG, but also think about some smaller dreams that are definitely not too difficult to achieve. The key thing is, when I think about these dreams, I also imagine myself already having achieved them.

Here’s an example. Let’s say the dream is that I get a job for the summer. Then what I imagine lying there is me getting on the train to commute to this “job.” I imagine the outfit I am wearing, the confidence with which I talk to my coworkers and boss, and the commute home. In short, I imagine a reality I hope for as if it is already mine.

As soon as I have the entire thing fully fleshed out in my mind, I write it down in my journal, being as specific as possible. I write the dream in the present tense as well, i.e. “I have a job that allows me to do things I am interested in and provides me with skills that I will use in the future. I am making enough money to save up for my study abroad fund…”

The first time I did this exercise, it took a full hour, as I basically imagined and then wrote down every dream I could think of that was even remotely possible in the foreseeable future.

Every morning since, the first thing I do when I wake up is grab that journal, read over all those dreams, and then do a shorter version of the visualization exercise. This time, I just imagine this day and the way I want it to go that will get me closer to at least one of those dreams. So let’s say for the job example, I imagine myself writing a few emails to some prospective employers and then doing some research on a few companies I haven’t checked out yet. Then that’s exactly what I put on my to-do list in my planner. I find that after this visualization exercise, I’m much more likely to actually do these things because they somehow feel so much more doable. Does that make any sense?

Joy, Fun, and Magic

For me, it’s super easy to get sucked into a dark vortex of despair if I focus too much on everything that’s not going right. Instead, I choose to focus on everything that is! And if there’s nothing that jumps out right away, I make it happen. I include joy and fun in some degree in every single day, regardless of how productive I was or how well I stuck to my to-do list. Everyone deserves some moments of magic every single day, and they happen ALL THE TIME. I hope that’s one thing you come away with from reading this blog; you don’t need to sit and wait for incredible things to happen to you in order to feel joyful. YOU are the one who has the full power and control to bring yourself that joy.

So for me, finding joy has been delicious cups of coffee while out on walks, snuggling with my adorable poodle Minnie, reading Harry Potter, listening to podcasts, enjoying my favorite blogs, messing around in the kitchen, and laughing HARD with friends. All of these are pretty easy to come by, if you make the time. Prioritize YOU and your happiness, and you’ll see the world of difference that makes.

Trust

“Trust” has actually been my guiding word in this season of life.

Trust that I will find my way. Trust that everything will become clear. Trust that I can and will accomplish anything I set my mind to. This past month hasn’t always been easy, but something tells me what I’m going through is a normal and necessary part of growing, transforming, and improving. Like I often say, there is a lesson in everything, and I know I will eventually look back at this time with gratitude for being the push I needed to make change happen.

Nothing good ever comes easy, but I am going to choose to enjoy the journey. It’s all just another adventure, and those are much more fun when you sit back and enjoy instead of white-knuckling it the whole way. We are all capable of so much, and everything is possible. Believe that.

Sending you all the love this Thursday, and please do send this to anyone you think may resonate with it. <3

 

Linking up with Amanda for Thinking Out Loud

 

What do you do when you feel lost?

Ever feel overwhelmed by your dreams?